I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
