It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
