some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
