P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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