Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
