Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
