It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
