Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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