Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
