I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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