I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Randomize
