I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
