As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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