I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
