I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wear drunk well.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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