I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
