I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I want to make a zoo with you.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
