the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
