it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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