People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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