Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
