i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
