summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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