i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
