Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
