I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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