I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
