Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
