put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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