Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
