that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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