you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Don't make out with my wife yet
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
