He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
