I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
