So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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