So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
