So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
