Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
where am i from again
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We had sex on a dog bed..
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
