I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
