If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
