All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
