don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
