I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
