What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
