Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
