It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
