Where did you get a picture of my penis
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
