One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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