never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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