He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i think i have herpe
just one?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
