I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
